From Chad Fowler’s blog http://chadfowler.com/2009/6/9/the-unexpected-consequences-of-consumerism :

American reaction to the Exxon Valdez oil spill in the late 80s. The nation suddenly became, on the average, much more environmentally minded. So what did we do? We bought “environmental” products. Recycled products, energy-efficient this-or-that, health food, etc. What did we not do? Actually change our behavior.

The more our life options get paraded around as consumer options, the more we forget that there’s a difference between the two.

• You want to lose weight, get excited and buy a bunch of books, magazines, DVDs, etc. on weight loss. Join a fitness site where you can log calories and workouts. Buy a book about a diet with an enticing name.
• Want to learn a new technology? Get a bunch of books, sign up for a mailing list.
• Train for a triathlon? Tons of triathlon books, a bicycle, funny triathlon clothes, triathlete magazine, etc.
• Want to learn a (human) language? Buy some software and books, music, movies.
• Want to learn an instrument? Books, an instrument, a case for the instrument, various accessories.
• Get more organized? Productivity books, a PDA, PIM software.

I do this all the time. I decide I’m going to do something challenging, and my first step is to load up on stuff related to whatever it is I want to do. My second step is to continue to load up on stuff related to the topic. And so on.

It’s a really good and true point.
Although you’re resolute about not falling in that trap it’s a much sneakier trap than you think.
The first time I noticed that type of behavior, I was a teenager.
Playing music, I collected many different music books and transcriptions. Most of them I never finished, a few I never even opened more than twice. Once I figured it out I decided not to spend the money for them. So I ended up getting those books from the library. (found a surrogate)

Every once in a while I’d notice I fell in the trap again, but I’d shrug it since at least it didn’t cost me anything.

The act of purchasing has a really weird effect and triggers.
Have you ever made a big purchase because you were so excited you were going to make so much money in your brand new job, that you haven’t started yet?

I have, a few times. One time it was so glaring that it burned me so bad when I realized the pattern, it never happened again.
I think you really have to have that one Eureka moment that is so glaring, so painful, so damning that can by itself change your future behavior.

For me it was the purchase of a 2*16 Mesa-Boogie Cabinet that cost me $1000 in 1990 in lieu of a job that I never started. It was so painful that the realization of it killed that impulse for good.

What about the impulse to load up on stuff that you’re momentarily interested? Much harder to control. Usually the damage is in the tens of dollars.

I found a solution a couple years back. Write down the purchase on your notebook/pda/iphone and give yourself a 48 hours cool-down period. Then revisit the list and 90% of the time you’ll come to your sense.

If you absolutely must make a purchase, buy only 1 item. Put the time aside for that week to dedicate yourself to it, and most of all you can’t buy any other related items or like-kind items until you’re done with this one.

If it’s a book, and you succumbed to purchasing the book. You can’t buy or read any other book until you’re officially done with that book. If half way through it you realize that you don’t care to finish it, donate it. Get rid of it. No half-measures.

After 3-5 purchases you’re going to really ponder every purchase, and make only the necessary one.

That’s my road toward a lean life.

Btw, a good book to read on the subject is Dan Ariely’s Predictably Irrational. The best book I have read this year so far, and I have read a few.

Generally in life there are forces and attitudes that greatly influence our lives. There are way of thinking, beliefs and mental rules that dominates us that have no foundation whatsoever or even worse are not even ours.

In my profession there is a lot of talk around FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt) usually regarding adopting some new hot technology. What we don’t always realize is that FUD influences all aspects of our lives and that it has serious psychological ramifications.

Whenever we are not happy with something we cry for change. Do we always take the steps for that change to happen? No, hardly ever instead. What is stopping us? Many different type of fears.

Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of loss.

Fear of loss?

What loss? Most people don’t realize that we are just as much attached to our problems as we are sick of them.
We are trained to fear change, mainly because we are comfortable with the current situation. We are familiar with it. We know the current set of problems and we have developed ways to cope with it.

Fear of change.

One basic rule influences us whenever there is a change. The common believe is that change equals problems. Therefore FUD kicks in.

This kind of thinking must be eradicated from our mind and our lives, both professional and personal.
This is the type of thinking that keeps abused spouses in their unhealthy relationships. They are more afraid of change then being beaten to death. They have a way to cope with their beating they don’t know what the change will bring so they don’t make any. It’s what they know and are familiar with.*

While it is often true that change does bring new problems, it is also true that it might be a better set of problems. A set of problem that might be easier to cope with or one set of problems that you actually want.
Wouldn’t we rather have as a problem “what city in south of France I would like to vacation this summer?” vs “What do I need more: a car or health insurance?”

Change is part of life and we should embrace it, for it hopefully will bring a better set of problems.

Fear of the unknown.

While this concept needs no explaining it also echoes our upbringing. I believe that all fears are learned.
I witnessed first hand this through my daughter. She was completely fearless for good part of her first 4 years.
No fear of getting hurt, even after doing so. No fear of heights, No fear of water or anything. No fear of death itself.
Recently she learned to fear some things. Hopefully she’ll never fear change.

Very little has ever being achieved without taking a leap of faith, without stretching ourselves outside our comfort zone. Whenever we do that, stretch out our comfort zone, it presents us with an opportunity for growth and learning.

The trick is realizing when you have been stagnating and have fallen back in a comfort zone. Whenever that happens it is time to stretch out. Maybe we should do a self evaluation every month or so, maybe even more frequently.

Be aware of why you’re not making the change you want to make.
Try asking yourself these questions:

Why am I not making this change? What is the belief that is stopping me?
Is this belief mine or somebody else’s?
Is this belief even/still valid?

By now you should know what to do. If not ask yourself the following:

What are the problems that might arise?
What are the problems that will go away?
What are the benefits?

The last 2 answers, if compelling enough, should make the decision making automatic and propel you into action. If you really want change, just focus on the last 2 and dive in.

Happy Change everybody.

* On a side note: The familiarity of the abuse is also why certain people attract the same toxic partners throughout their life. It’s what they know and they’re familiar with it. Subconsciously whenever you meet somebody that fits the prototype of your previous relationship you’re attracted to him because it feels familiar and “right”, even when it couldn’t be any more wrong than that.

It’s something that you cannot change until your mindful about it, or for some chance of luck you fall for somebody different or they do for you. Then the range of familiarity expands.

Btw, these rules apply to all types of life partners. It applies to your coworkers, business partners as well as romantic ones. But that again is another post.

I guess the assumption made from the ruby-central guys is that there are many, many, many really overweight programmers in our community. While our profession does port itself to long ours, unhealthy habits and poor diets I am happy to see that not many people picked from that stack. I can’t help but wonder what could be done to help that stats. As a matter of fact I have to say that most ruby developer at the conference are slim to slightly overweight. That’s a net contrast from other developer communities. Maybe that is a result of getting more things done in less time . Who knows?

The other problem that I can deduct from the choice in swags is that there is an enourmous disparity in the males to females ratio in the ruby community. We should do something about attracting more women to the joy of ruby.