Looking Ahead

What can you say about him?

He can cause singularity events at will

Tom created myspace to become his friend.

When your internet goes down it’s because he is sad.

When he hiccups, google’s infrastructure does too

Everybody is joining Twitter to follow him, while he doesn’t have an account, they still get his updates

You came to the realization that you were following him and getting his updates well before joining twitter. You joined twitter just to make it official.

Twitter follows him

He came up with the google page ranking algorithm & gave it to Larry Page & Sergey Brin as a practical joke to Yahoo.

For as much as you might look for it, you’ll never find a button on facebook that can poke him. If you were to find it and click on it, the internet would implode.

He’s not a proponent for net neutrality, he IS net neutrality

He delivered happiness to Tony Hsieh and wow to Zappos

His personality is so magnetic he’s not allowed entrance in data centers

His code is so awesome, it can find and fix other people’s software’s bugs without the need to be run

The seti project is still trying to replicate the computation he did in his mind during one breakfast

His twitter followers’ growth rate surpassed infinity … over 0

20 years before his birth he appeared to J.C.R Licklider in a dream, and explained the concept of universal networking. The ground work for the internet was underway.

if we could capture the energy produced by his brain activity for 1 second, we could power the whole internet … forever

It is said if he were to talk to you, all your present, past and future code would be eternally beautiful and free of bugs.

Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs used to be figments of his imagination. He then breathed life into them.

It is said if he were to take off his glasses he could stare into your soul and reprogram it. Even over skype.

He doesn’t need glasses but wears them anyway, for your protection

If skype didn’t exists, he would appear to you and still conduct his interview and you’d better answer his questions

He doesn’t need ITunes to promote his show, ITunes begged him to.

If you were to subscribe to his show, nothing else is required from you to receive it. Not even an internet connection

His shows are so powerful no storage media can hold them, they just persist

When he’s happy, every programmer in the world is in the state of flow

His smile is so radiant that when he does smile, all the tests in the world are compelled to pass … they oblige every time.

His shows are so perfectly edited because he created them in his own image

If you play one of his shows on your computer, it will be over-clocked forever.

His words are so powerful you can use them to jumpstart your car

You can only quote him, for his words are perfectly arranged and any summarization would cause computers all over the world to crash

No action can speak louder than his words

His computer never crashes because it doesn’t want to make him sad.

Once he ordered his computer to crash, to experience what it felt like.

He once caught a lightning in a bottle, to prove it could be done,  he then let go of it, so he could catch it again.

His podcasts are so electrifying if you’d play them on your laptop you’d never need the battery anymore.

Don’t argue with him, because when push comes to shove, you’ll be doing both .. to yourself.

His podcasts are self-aware

He doesn’t use any recording tools to record his shows. The microphone & headphones are just for show. To make you feel better about yourself

You don’t need to download his podcasts, they regularly visit your device to evangelize his word

He doesn’t ride with the bulls in spain, the bulls in spain ride with him

The butterfly effect can be observed around the world every time he blinks

When people talk about standing on the shoulders of giants, they are referring to him

“A fresh pair of eyes” is what you get every time you watch his show

He can talk how much he desire and still be wise. Proving that “A still tongue keeps a wise head” expression doesn’t apply to him

He can accurately and correctly compare apples to oranges

He is: The Most Interesting Web Personality Of The World.

  • oldfartdeveloper

    Airlines adjust their itineraries to provide him the shortest trip whenever he thinks he might want to take a trip.

  • oldfartdeveloper

    Cars automatically open their driver side doors and start their engines whenever he walks by them.

  • oldfartdeveloper

    All programmers aspire to be like him in every way.

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